A student in my class just gave this to me. Very funny!
- Everyone should play the same piece.
- If you play a wrong note, glare at one of the other players.
- Carefully tune your instrument before playing. Then if you play out of tune, you can at least do it with a clear conscience.
- If everyone gets lost except you, follow the ones who are lost.
- If a passage is difficult, slow down. If it is easy, speed up. Everything will even itself out in the end.
- When everyone else stops playing, you should stop also.
- Do not play any notes you may have left over.
- A wrong note, played timidly, is a wrong note. A wrong note, played with authority, is simply your interpretation of the phrase.